CMH Gourmand – Eating in Columbus & Ohio

There is a young man living in the greater Grandview area that I am a bit of a fan of. However, had it not been for him and his social media baiting, I would not have known about the Whopperito. In fact when I first saw him mention it, I thought is was hoax, perhaps a prank. Well, the Whopperito does indeed exist. In fact, word has been out most of the summer with the general theme of the conversation being disdain. Apparently, this Whopperito is a thing.

Unless you have lived under a rock or are a very recent immigrant from an obscure country you have encountered a Whopper in your life time and most likely eaten one. But just in case you are not familiar with the Whopper let us digress for a bit of history. The iconic burger debuted in 1957. The classic Whopper consists of: flame grilled quarter-pound burger, sesame seed bun (since 1970), mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup and sliced onion. In college I could get two Whopper’s for $2.22 and for a while that became a late night snack to soak up Natural Light or if I was living large a well drink cocktail certainly my tastes have changed with time but I can still be nostalgic. Maybe I’m responsible for the Whopperrito, especially if the parent company has been tracking my blog posts and eating patterns for the last year of so. Perhaps they were emboldened by their decisive win in the epic Burger King vs. Wendy’s 4/5 for $4 face-off.

As for the Whopperrito, it is a Whopper in burrito form with minor tweaks. It is a mix of the regular Whopper ingredients minus the ketchup and mustard. The meat is served in large chunks of broken up Whopper flame grilled beef that is seasoned with a special blend of spices and thin queso-like pepper cheese. Nutritionally it is 570 calories, 29 grams of protein and 11 grams of saturated fat vs. a traditional Whopper which is 630 calories, 26 grams of protein and 11 grams of saturated fat.

In addition to a bit of subliminal twitter taunting, the existence of a Whopperrito drew me to eat it like the USS Palomino to a Black Hole. It was inevitable that this would happen. Typically I am impervious to most fast food advertising and gimmicks with a few exceptions: White Castle, occasionally Wendy’s if the item is “bold” and when Burger Chef included Legos on their kids meals. This new product merged my positive leanings towards Whoppers with my affinity for burritos. What was the result? The Whopperrito is greater than the sum of its parts. While not enjoyable it was edible. If any BK executives are monitoring this post, these are my suggestions: make the pickle pieces smaller and replace the pepper cheese queso sauce with a thicker, cheesier American cheese/Velveeta styled sauce to hold all of the parts together more cohesively.

My verdict. I would always pick a Whopper over a Whopperrito. If my suggested changes are put into place, I’d still choose a Whopper nine times out of ten. My experience with the Whopperrito did give me a better appreciation for the Whopper. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts with the Whopper and the key to that burger persisting for nearly 60 years is the power of proportions – it has just the right blends of all of the ingredients, nailing the ketchup to mayonnaise ratio.

A brief side note. I was not sure how I would feel about the Whopperito or if I could finish it. So as a preemptive strike, I ordered a hot dog too. For the price Burger King serves a respectable hot dog. They use a good quality bun that seems lightly steamed (?) or at least it is fluffy, and grill the all beef hot dog then add a right amount of mustard, relish and (heaven forbid, ketchup). In an emergency it will do.