CMH Gourmand

Eat, Drink, Repeat: Culinary Discovery & Misadventure in Central Ohio

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Pattycake Bakery: Innuendo in the Backroom!

Posted by cmh gourmand on February 5, 2010

There is a sign by the register at Pattycake Bakery which reads: “We have X-rated cookies behind the beaded curtain in the backroom for Valentine’s Day! Just ask the counter help and we’ll show you our goods.” Oh My! I was titillated with visions of all types of naughty baked goods. I was also terrified. Had “Jimmy’s Angels” of Pattycake gone bad or dirty or smutty? Or could it be that these Vegan bakers had cookie cut-outs of kittens, hamburgers and high fructose corn syrup cans they could not bear to show in public? I did not have the nerve to ask on the spot to go behind the curtain, so I e-mailed the fabulous Sarah B. and made arrangements to do some investigative reporting.

As it turns out neither my fears nor hopes were realized. Pattycake has a variety of heart-shaped cut-out cookies for Valentine’s Day. Some of the messages are naughty, some are very naughty and a few are nice. Kitty Scheinbach and company seemed to have channeled my amorous modus operandi with such straightforward messages as “I Passionately Like You” and “You’re my Chocolate”. For the bashful, there are messages such as: “dinner?” and “Do You Like Me?” with a check box for yes or no (I guess one could just bite out the box that did not apply). Strangely, there were no cookies that said: You are my Pattycake or Let’s Play Pattycake. The nice messages are similar to what are found on the candy hearts I passed out in third grade. As for the other messages, well, they are a bit randy. With a little lead time, you can also have your own saucy message iced on a cookie for your honey and that message does not need to be FCC approved.

Here are a few samples from the backroom.

I don’t have anyone to bring cookies to this year, but I did get this consolation prize in the backroom.

5 Responses to “Pattycake Bakery: Innuendo in the Backroom!”

  1. Bethia said

    Maybe you will get some more mystery Valentine chocolates!


    CMH G. Comment:
    I’ll be in Mexico on V-Day so I will be sequestered from my secret admirer.

  2. sarahb said

    thanks for the awesome post jim! maybe the ladies of pattycake will send you some valentines day treats;)

  3. Mike said

    Hilarious. 🙂

  4. Roland said

    There’s some devious cookies being made at Pattycake! I saw these over the weekend and bought one for my sweetie.🙂

    Thanks for the heads up Jim!

  5. Dave said

    I’m glad I caught up with my feed reader and this post. I now have a unique place to go find some goodies for all my women.

    ps, You’re dangerously close to compromising your objectivity. Are they loading these cookies with weed?

    CMH G. Disclaimer: I am an unpaid lobbyist for Pattycake and must admit that my objectivity is blown in this case. The ladies at Pattycake would not lace their cookies with illict drugs but if someone was a Republican they might be tempted to do so.

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